Hani Henry, associate professor of psychology at AUC’s Department of Sociology, Anthropology, Psychology and Egyptology, says that Robert Sternberg’s psychological theory addresses the most common reasons we fall in love, which are: passion, intimacy, and commitment.

Intimacy

It is possible to fall in love for intimate reasons, but it does not require commitment or passion. Henry said that intimacy is not only about building a close relationship with someone; it can also be used for self-enhancement. Sometimes it is self-serving. Everyone longs to feel loved and cared about. Women desire to feel their femininity and men desire to feel their masculinity.

A perfect example of intimacy captured is Adele’s Hi. Adele calls her ex-boyfriend in the chorus and vents her pain about the relationship. She says that she hasn’t been able to heal herself after so many years. "Her lyrics speak for many people who are looking to make an emotional connection, whether it’s with someone they know or in a relationship that lasts a few months," he explained.

Passion

Normal to fall in love out of desire or strong feelings is normal. Passionate love develops from feelings that lead to sexual attraction and romantic interest. Henry explained, "When you meet someone you like you become captivated by that person." "
gitari to someone is physical and there is a fascination about the hair and eyes as well as their bodies."

Infatuation is a feeling of love that develops without intimacy or commitment. People are attracted to one another and develop a sense of lust. Some people are obsessed and see that person as a type of object. He said, "You can be in love with someone for years but not feel that there is any commonality between you two."

Commitment

Total love comes from commitment. "People who want commitment are seeking stability and a healthy partnership," he stated. "People who are only looking for commitment might lack basic friendship interests and sexual attraction."

Henry says that young adults today are more interested in objects than in relationships. He said, "The objectification of culture comes from consumerism." "The more consumeristic the culture becomes, the less interest people have in commitments. Some youth are more interested than others in pleasing people they don’t care for. So everything needs to be consumed, even relationships with people."

Love Outside the Triangular Theory

Sternberg’s love theory is universally applicable. However, everyone has their own reasons for falling in love. "Your reasons for falling in love don’t necessarily have to be scientifically explained. Henry explained that certain personal needs may include fear of being alone, social pressure, satisfaction, or religious beliefs.

Regardless of what psychology may say about love and how it affects us, we define who we really are by the type of love that we choose. Each person has their own understanding of what makes them happy and fulfills their human needs. "Some people are caught with a need that meets each dimension of the triangle and they can’t give up on two because of the different needs they get. Love is complex.