According to Hani Henry, chair and associate professor of psychology in the Department of Sociology, Anthropology, Psychology and Egyptology at AUC, Robert Sternberg’s psychological theory covers the most common reasons why we fall in love, namely: intimacy, passion and commitment.

Intimacy

Falling in love for intimate reasons can be described as having a basic friendship; it lacks commitment and passion. "Besides developing a close connection with someone, a lot of people seek intimacy for self-enhancement; it doesn’t necessarily have to be for sex," said Henry. "Sometimes it can be self-serving. Everyone longs to feel loved and cared about. Women need to feel their femininity while men desire their masculinity.

Adele’s song Hello is a perfect example of how intimacy is captured. In the song’s chorus, Adele contacts her ex-boyfriend and pours out her heartbreak from the relationship. She explains that many years have passed and she hasn’t done much healing. "Her lyrics speak for many people who are looking to make an emotional connection, whether it’s with someone they know or in a relationship that lasts a few months," he explained.

Passion

The normal thing to do is fall in love due to strong feelings or desire. Passionate love can be developed from feelings that result in sexual attraction, romance and physical interest. Henry said, "When you find someone you like, it is because you are attracted by something that makes you feel that way." Henry explained that physical attraction can be described as a fascination with hair, eyes, and the body.

In the absence of intimacy and commitment, infatuation is developed with the person you love. "People become captivated and develop lust. Some people become obsessed with a person and view them as an object. You can be with someone for years and don’t feel there is commonality between you and that person," he said.

Commitment

Complete love requires commitment. "People who want commitment are seeking stability and a healthy partnership," he stated. "People who seek only commitment can be unable to find basic friendship and sexual attraction.

Henry said that in modern times young adults are more interested than ever in objects and relationships. He said, "The objectification of culture comes from consumerism." The more consumerist a culture is, the less people are interested in making commitments. Some youth are more interested than others in pleasing people they don’t care for. All things must be consumed, including relationships with people.

Love Outside the Triangular Theory

Sternberg’s love theory can be understood by anyone. But we all have our own reasons for falling madly in love. "Your reason for falling in love doesn’t necessarily need to be explained by science.
gitarijada stated that some personal needs could include the fear of being alone or social peer pressure, fulfillment, or religious values.

Psychology may have some things to say about love but the love we choose is what defines us. Each of us has our own ways of understanding what makes our lives happy and meets our human needs. "Some people are caught with a need that meets each dimension of the triangle and they can’t give up on two because of the different needs they get. Love is complicated."